To Moon...

Manmohan Singh to George Bush: "We are sending Indians to the moon next year."

Bush: "Wow! How many?"

Manmohan Singh: 100! 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians and if possible 1 astronaut...


(Contributed by Vinaya Vashisht, Janakpuri, New Delhi)

What is Two and Two?

A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of Divisional Manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?"

First interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two."
Second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. Next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins vs. Commr of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven to be four.

Last applicant was an accountant. Business man asked him, "How much is two and two?"
Accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice.... "How much do you want it to be?"
He got the job.

Hey Lady, You Are Really Ugly!

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.

Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.

She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, Hey lady!

She paused and said, Yes? The bird said, You know!