Garbhavati

The Young Brahmin asked, "Is it true, that your daughter has all the good qualities and pleasing looks?"
The old brahmin answered, "Haan! More that that, she is Sundara Vati and Padma Vati!"
"But, can she cook and keep house? "Asked the young man.
"Oh yes, she is Dharma Vati! "answered the old man.
"Now, can she sew? "asked the young man.
"Oh yes. . . .yes, she can not only sew, but she is KalaVati!" answered the old man.
"What about her education?" asked the young man.
"She is Vidya Vati!" answered the old man.
"And the Vedas?" asked the young man"Oh yes. . . .yes, she is Veda Vati!" answered the old man.
The young man is very happy to find the perfect bride and gets married to her. Two days later, he comes back with his newly married bride in town. The old Brahmin is surprised.
He asks, "What happened, my son?" Why do you look so upset?
The young man says, "Well sir, you told me that your daughter is already a Sundara Vati, Padma Vati, Dharma Vati, Kala Vati, Vidya Vati and a Veda Vati?"
"Yes, my son- I certainly did" replies the old man.
"But Sir- you forgot to tell me that, she is also already a 'GarbhaVati'!!!"
"About that you didn't asked!!" The old man replied…

Contributed by Ajay Singh (ajay.singh2@timesgroup.com)

Ayodhya...Not...Chandigarh...

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who are you?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Oh Sorry! I dialed to Chandigarh but I think it is Ayodhya…

Contributed by Jayshree Lodha (jayshree.lodha@mediabharti.com)

Dhhuurrrr Dhup Dhup Dhup...

In an interview,

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....

Inteviewer: (shouts) Stop it.

Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Contributed by Jayshree Lodha (jayshree.lodha@mediabharti.com)

Tipu Sultan's Chair

Santa went to Mysore Palace.
Tourist guide: Santaji, Please don’t sit there, its Tipu Sultan's chair.
Santa: Oye don’t worry yaar! I'll get up when he comes!!

Contributed by Ajay Singh (ajay.singh2@timesgroup.com)

B. Com from Khalsa College

Santa sees a beautiful girl. He goes and kisses her. The girl shouts and says, “what are you doing!”
Santa says B. Com from Khalsa college.

Contributed by Ajay Singh (ajay.singh2@timesgroup.com)

I don't Like Her

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
Mother replies, "I don't like her".

Contributed by Ajay Singh (ajay.singh2@timesgroup.com)

Try Again!

A young unwed girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she confides this 'news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again!"

Contributed by Ajay Singh (ajay.singh2@timesgroup.com)